Get My Nails Trimmed

There are many reasons why your child might be afraid of getting their nails trimmed. Some include:

• they are worried it will hurt

• they are scared of the materials used (clippers, files, scissors), and have negative associations with them from previous nail trimming attempts

• nail trimming happens relatively infrequently, and so each time it is done, they do not remember what to expect

• it is an unpleasant sensory experience

We can help children understand what to expect, and work with them to feel comfortable with new sensations and experiences by meeting them where they are, and building on their current abilities.

Preparation Before Trimming Nails:

1. Read books, watch videos about trimming nails, and have your child watch you trim your own nails-

• Normalize how to trim nails using a variety of tools (clippers, scissors, nail files, electric nail clippers, etc.)

• Bring your child to the pet groomer to watch an animal get their nails trimmed.

• There aren’t many books on the market about trimming nails. However, you can read books about being brave and talk about trying something new.

2. Engage in imaginative play about nail care-

• Play “nail salon” to help your child understand what to expect when they get their nails trimmed, and make it silly and fun! You can use press-on nails, nail stickers, nail polish, or pretend nail care tools to get your child used to having someone touch their nails and play without there being the “threat” of a sneaky nail trimming session. You can also use dolls and stuffed animals as clients at your salon. Also, keep in mind that nail polish and nail stickers are not just for girls! Dad can get in on the fun and paint his nails or wear glow in the dark alien nail stickers too!

• You can even act out being scared, and ask your child “will it hurt?” and “do I get a prize at the end?” so that they can comfort you and affirm to themselves that it will be OK.

• Through play, familiarize your child with the tools that will be used so that they know what they are and how they will be used.

3. Talk to your child about what will be happening and when-

• Tell your child that you will be trimming their nails and tell them what will happen. Just trimming one fingernail? Using clippers or nail file? Trimming 5 fingernails?

• Tell your child when you will be trimming their nails. Depending on your child’s understanding, you can put it on the calendar and remind them during the week. Or, create a post-it countdown to the day so that they can visually see how close they are to the nail trimming day. It can be helpful to make it part of a daily routine at first so that they get used to it. This could be: “Every morning after breakfast we cut one nail.” or, “Every night after bath we cut one nail.”

4. Give your child some control-

• When trying something new, giving your child control over some part of the event can help them feel more willing to try it. Let them pick what they want to play with or snack on with while having their nails trimmed- tablet? books? a special treat?

• Do they want to pick which nail to cut first?

• Do they want to pick which tool to use? Nail clippers? Nail scissors?

5. Prepare your nail trimming supply kit-

• Select the types of nail trimming tools that you will be using and try them out on yourself first so that you can see what they feel like and how they are used. Don’t try to figure it out while you have a squirmy kiddo on your hands.

• Consider trying some new products in addition to the traditional nail clippers, scissors and files. These electronic products need to be charged/batteries installed before they are used, so make sure that you get it set up before you try to use it with your child:

• Electric nail files are like a very, very gentle Dremel with varying speeds and different tips to choose based on the hardness of your child’s nails.

• Electric nail clippers have a very small, narrow opening only big enough for your child’s tiny nail. Inside of the clipper is a blade that cuts only the nail that is sticking through the hole. It is designed so that children can do it themselves safely, and comes in 3 sizes (Infant, Child, and Adult). This has become the preferred nail trimming method for my own children!

• Prepare your rewards (lollipops, stickers, tablets), snacks, drinks, and whatever else your child selected as their special things to give them control.

While Trimming Nails:

1. Use hand massage/deep pressure-

• Some children do not like the feeling of someone lightly touching their hands. This type of light touch can feel alarming for their bodies.

• Try giving them a hand massage before attempting nail trimming to get your child used to you touching their hands and nails. Hold their hands firmly and use deep touches throughout nail trimming to avoid alarming their sensory system.

2. End with SUCCESS- don’t wait until meltdown-

• Once you have started, it can be tempting to try and force your child to get through all of their nails. However, this can backfire as your child then has the memory of a negative experience. If you told your child you were only going to cut one nail today, then only cut one nail and stop! If they are doing well then check in with them if you can do more. But, respect that they held it together for the one nail!

• Try to end with success- even if that means that you didn’t get to finish. If your child had a positive experience, it will be easier to trim nails in the future, and hopefully they will sit for longer the next time.

• Depending on the ability level of your child, a “success” might look like your child watched you cut your own nails. It could be that your child let you trim one nail. Trust your instincts for how much your child will be able to handle before getting upset.

3. Reward for trying-

• Regardless of how far you got in the nail trimming session, reward your child for trying something new. This can be verbal praise (“Wow! I am proud that you touched the nail clippers this time!”), a tangible item (“Let’s call Grandma and tell her you were being brave!”), or both.

• Try to create a positive association for trying something new.

4. Take pictures for next time-

• Children benefit from seeing themselves doing something so that they can visualize doing it again. Try to have someone else snap some pictures of the process of you trimming your child’s nails. The next time that you trim their nails you can review the pictures with your child and talk them through what to expect. And, make sure to include the picture of them smiling with their reward after they trimmed their nails too! “Remember when we trimmed your nails last time? You sat still on my lap and you ate crackers while I trimmed your nails. You were so brave, and you got to play on your tablet afterwards!”

Please refer to the BEHAVIOR DECODER section below if you have already had a negative experience trimming your child’s nails and are looking for even more strategies, and the recommended BOOKS, TOYS and SUPPORTS, and VIDEOS sections below for vetted products and videos. Additionally, please use the RESOURCES section for further information and strategies about trimming your child’s nails.