Point Of View - Interview With A Parent Of A Child With Sensory Processing Differences
Eliza B. discussed the challenges and joys of raising her children with sensory differences through an email interview conducted by Elyse Mandart, M.Ed. CCC-SLP in October 2025.
All names have been changed to protect the family’s identity.
Interview Questions in BLACK and labeled ICDTtools Parent Responses from Eliza B. in BLUE labeled EB
ICDTtools - Tell us a little bit about your family:
EB - Our family of 5 lives at home. Myself, my husband David, and our 3 kids. Bryan is 9, Lorenzo is 7 and Charlie is now 4. Bryan has been diagnosed with ADHD, a learning disability, convergence insufficiency, MTHFR heterozygous genetic mutation and Kleinfelter’s. Charlie has been diagnosed with a speech delay and increased sensory needs.
ICDTtools - Is there any relevant family history of learning challenges, motor planning difficulties, or sensory issues?
EB - There was never any official diagnosis of my husband or myself; however, throughout learning about my kids, I have learned that everyone has sensory sensitivities and preferences.
ICDTtools - When did you first notice that your child/children might be developing differently from their peers (and please indicate approximate ages)? What were some of the signs that you noticed?
Charlie sometimes preferred to play under tables and in small spaces to reduce visual and auditory input
EB - I noticed pretty early on, around 5 months, that there was some altered development. Charlie had a very hard time learning to roll but once he picked it up, he moved quickly from rolling to crawling to pulling up to stand and then to cruising along furniture. Once I saw him move so quickly through those steps, it really seemed to me like the rolling part wasn’t happening because there was something in his body that just couldn't quite click and put the pieces of the skill together. From 7-12 months, things seemed more okay but I did have speech in my mind as potential issue because he never said Mama or Dada. He would babble a ton but they weren’t real sounds and they didn’t seem to have any specific correlation to an item or person. With the inability to communicate I noticed a lot of frustration that ended up resulting in a lot of temper tantrums, at an age way younger than tantrums would be expected, forceful movements, throwing and kicking. Initially I was under the impression this was all due to frustration but even after some progress with communication, those behaviors were still present and things actually got worse with transitions and trips outside of the house being almost impossible to manage.
ICDTtools - How did you first hear about a Sensory Processing Disorder? Who was the first professional to describe the disorder and explain/demonstrate strategies to support your child/children?
EB - At the same time that I was noticing these behaviors with Charlie, I was also starting to see a greater struggle with my oldest son and how he was able to cope during his school day and some of his behavior at home, especially at the end of the day. Charlie’s OT at the time was the first one to introduce me to sensory needs and breakdown how different senses can either make or break a difficult situation and how there can be “sensory diet” throughout the day to provide cushion and help regulate my kids throughout the day and not just in a hard moment.
With Charlie, we tried a number of strategies- compression shirts, puffy coats at the store, deep pressure, heavy work, jumping obstacle courses, weighted blankets, music, appropriate toys to throw, chewy toys, and safe spaces that were small and tight. Some of these methods were for in the moment of deep dysregulation, some were layered in and some were used preemptively knowing a transition was upcoming.
Charlie loves to jump on trampolines as part of a “heavy work” routine to regulate his sensory system.
ICDTtools - How did having a Sensory Processing Disorder affect your child/family in everyday activities? Describe ways that you modified the day to support your child/children, and give examples of activities that you purposely avoided/purposely choose for your child/children.
EB - Everything about the day felt different. Literally from the moment he woke up, and some days even before he woke up, I was planning what strategies might be needed and at what time based on what we were doing that day. It was also hard when the older two boys saw that he got different treatment than they did. Trips into a store were something I avoided at all costs. He was unable to sit still in the cart and be safe in the seat, he would scream, the shoes would be kicked off and aimed down the aisles, he would cry, and then even when we did leave he would cause a scene. Parks were a preferred activity; however, even that posed challenges when it was time to go. What I did aim to do was preload his morning with a significant amount of heavy work.
ICDTtools - How did their Sensory Processing Disorder affect the following:
Eating
EB - At times eating was difficult. Getting him to the table was a fight, particularly for dinner. Then, even if we got him to the table, his attention span to stay there was limited. Lunch tended to be his best meal so I would always aim to get a large lunch into him so that if he didn’t eat dinner, it wasn’t as big of a deal.
Sleeping
EB - The time he was asleep was fine; however, wake ups were a difficult transition sometimes. Nap time transition from asleep to waking was the hardest. He used to wake up right as the older two boys got off the bus but I quickly learned that was too much disorder for him. So I began waking him up prior to them getting home so he would have time to adjust and regulate.
Sports/Interest in Group Activities
EB - This is still a work in progress, even now that he is over the age of 4. There is minimal attention span and rule following for extracurriculars.
Attention and Focus in school
EB - Having OT and a special instructor join him at school has been helpful. He also is positively enforced by peers to follow the school routine. This area has been much better than anticipated.
Potty Training
EB - Potty training took some time and he was closer to 4 until he was fully confident on the potty. I’m not sure that I can attribute any of that to sensory needs though.
Peer/friend relationships
EB - He is so so so social!! He will say hello to anyone! But with him having a rougher play type, his friendship is an acquired taste by peers his own age. He has had to learn that how he plays with his older brothers at home is different than people at school or the playground like to play.
ICDTtools - What have been some of the greatest challenges in raising a child/children with a Sensory Processing Disorder?
EB - All of the explaining that it takes to support him and help him optimize the situations he’s in. There has been so much explaining to my husband, Charlie’s grandparents, his siblings, his teachers, and other friends what makes Charlie who he is. It has also limited some of the activities that we are able to participate in as a family because knowing it will be difficult for Charlie or difficult for us to manage him, makes the activity something that isn’t worth doing.
ICDTtools - How did your extended family/friends react when you explained your child’s/children’s needs? Supportive? Curious? Blaming? How did this impact your relationship with your extended family/friends?
EB - Everyone has been supportive and I’m so glad for that. There naturally is a lot of question asking and curiosity but I don’t ever feel it’s from a place of ill intent.
ICDTtools - What tools/strategies/therapies/etc. have been the most effective and why?
EB - OT has been the most beneficial for him! Without OT, there would not even be enough regulation in his nervous system to allow him to learn and be successful with speech therapy, school, and increasing the number of outings that are less difficult.
ICDTtools - What have been the greatest successes for your child/children? Describe some of the activities that they currently enjoy, and include any activities that surprised you given their diagnosis.
EB - I have been so proud of how Charlie has been doing at preschool! Seeing how he is at home and during organized activities, I had major concerns with his ability to follow a routine and not be a classroom disrupter. But he has been able to make such positive connections with his teachers and their willingness to work with him and not against him, has made all the difference in how he has been able to manage and thrive!
Charlie enjoys the sensory experience his body feels when swimming and likes the feeling of the sand between his fingers/toes.
ICDTtools - Describe the services your child/children received in the past (ex. Early Intervention, Intermediate Unit), as well as your child’s/children’s current support systems. Do they receive services at school or private therapy? Do you have built-in activities throughout their day or a Sensory Diet in place? How does the school support your child’s/children’s needs in the school setting? What additional types of supports would you like to see in place?
EB - Previously, Charlie received PT [Physical Therapy] as an infant through EI [Early Intervention] due to inability to coordinate rolling. He was discharged fairly quickly from that. Then after the age of one, he began EI services again for speech and OT, with a brief use of an SI [Specialized Instructor] for the after nap time period when the house with a bit more chaotic and Charlie had a hard time regulating. Currently, he is receiving speech, OT and SI through [the public school district]. Additionally, we began private therapy services, which includes speech and OT. His preschool, has been phenomenal with helping to accommodate his needs for higher level of physical sensory input by allowing him to have a range of tools as options within his classroom; those options include different seating, playdoh and other tools that allow for more tactile stimulation, and added gym time if needed. At home, he also has a range of readily available options for him to get on his own or for us to offer if we sense he is needing to redirect focus in a positive direction. At this time, I am thrilled with the current services that he is receiving. My focus in the near future will be ensuring that he continues to have these options available to him as he transitions to kindergarten next school year.
ICDTtools - Do you have any advice for parents who are wondering if their child has a Sensory Processing Disorder, or has a child who was recently diagnosed? If you could go back in time and talk to yourself during the time when your child/children were first diagnosed, what would you tell yourself?
EB - With Charlie I had less reservation about reaching out for an evaluation because my oldest son had also received services through the [public school district]. However, I do remember with my oldest how hesitant I was to even call because I somehow believed that if he was eligible for services, then I must have done something wrong or not done enough to keep him on track and “normal.” And that couldn’t have been further from the truth. What I’ve learned is that parents intuitions are generally correct and, most times, we as parents are more in tune with our child’s subtle differences than anyone else. I believe if we act on our intuition, then it’s easier for us to be PROactive in their care and not wait and become REactive. While I’ve been able to be more proactive for Charlie, I still have fears and internal dialogue with myself about the fear of him being labeled as “difficult” or “different” or “misbehaved.” As often as I can, I redirect that fear and shame to viewing those moments as an opportunity to educate someone else on what makes Charlie, Charlie. I have also found through working with OT and watching Charlie continue to grow that most of us have sensory needs and things within our environment that calm or agitate us. Charlie has left me wondering if there is such a thing as “neurotypical.” The more I learn about sensory diets and sensory needs, the more I am convinced that we all have our own unique rhythm and some of us just have not been fortunate enough to have been provided the education to help us understand ourselves and/or our children.
ICDTtools - What advice would you give to teachers and other community members about how to support your child/children?
Charlie throws rocks into the water as a “heavy work” activity to help regulate his sensory system.
EB - Ask questions before making assumptions! There is a quote I saw the other week that really hit home and it said “Beneath every behavior, there is a feeling. And beneath every feeling there is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause and not the symptom.” So please, ask the question and dig deep to understand the need and not just react to the behavior.
ICDTtools - Please share your thoughts/impressions/comments about your journey as a parent with a child/children with a Sensory Processing Disorder and any other information you want other families/community members to know and understand.
EB - Like most of our journey as a parent, it’s paradoxical. It’s both incredibly hard and also incredibly rewarding. It’s hard to figure out how your child’s needs fit into the day and the routine of the household but it’s also amazing to be able to parent your child to their fullest extent and to learn so so much about them! As they grow, their needs continue to evolve and change so I think the most important thing is discussion. Discussion helps bridge the gap between home life and social life and for these kids, it’s helpful to have consistency in all their areas of life.
ICDTtools - Thank you for sharing your family’s story with us!